Treat #81
: Getting Through "it"
Getting through “it”
I was doing a follow-up call recently with a client who said they were feeling a bit of overwhelm with all there was to do and process. The only way I know to shift overwhelm is to take one thing at a time through to completion…over and over until the overwhelm calms down.
She gathered everything that was “out of the system” to the In-box and started the process of picking up one piece at a time. The sounds and comments coming from her were entertaining—I can’t deal with this now, I’ll do this when we get off the phone or, I don’t like this one, can I just put this back in the box on the bottom and take another one? I of course said no and asked the famous question: what is the next step/action with that item? At first the response was: I’ll just write it on my task list. I responded back with: what is “it”? We don’t yet have a next step. The key to unlocking overwhelm lives in this one simple question…what is the first step I need to take with this it? Sometimes it takes a few rounds of asking this question as you may think you have the first physical step but then, when you start moving on that step, you realize something else comes first. In almost every instance, as soon as the real next step was identified, she was doing it as it was a less than a two-minute step. She kept remarking: “Why do I not do this on my own? I stop before I even get to action.” She experienced the joy in the movement that can occur if we will identify the first steps first. Then her remarks shifted to: “Wow, this is great.”
As I work with clients and watch my own process as well, I see a number of reasons why we don’t take the time to identify the it:
1. We tend to see every step required for completing the item all at once and we jam our circuits. Instead, we can take a moment to find the very next step to handling it and then the flow opens up.
2. We tell ourselves we don’t have time to handle it but, the truth is, we do have time to simply decide a first step. That is all that is required.
3. We say: I just don’t want to deal with it. That is usually in reaction to the emotions tied up with the item. The easiest way out of emotion is to ask yourself…what is the next step? That is a neutral action.
4. We decide it is all too much. Again, it is because we are not willing to take a step.
Overall we simply forget to hold our own attention for ourselves. Holding the focus is the role I play during the two-day coaching. It’s easier when someone is holding the focus with you. I believe holding our own attention is an art we learn with practice over time. It IS worth learning as it makes doing more enjoyable.
It seems that we want to hurry past what is. We tell ourselves we don’t know what to do and that we will deal with it later. Later, we still don’t want to deal with it and experience the frustration of it still being there. Teaching ourselves the discipline of deciding the next step up front is not only liberating but a gentler process all around.
I love imagining what it must be like to be one of those its in the In-box, wanting and hoping so much to get out of the box. I imagine if they could speak to us they would be saying…please can you just take one moment with me and I will show you what is next?
Giving ourselves one moment and another moment and another moment with our “its” gets us through In, in no time.
Martha Invitations
1. When you watch yourself trying to side-step it, come back and simply ask yourself: do I have an action with this and what is my next step?
2. Set your intention to process your In-box, decide the next step for each item and time yourself. It is a fairly quick process.
3. Put a chair beside you while you process your In-box and imagine someone you love sitting there in silence, holding for you to complete.
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