Treat #56
: No Biggie???
I strolled in to my hair salon to have my hair cut, exactly on time for my 9:30 AM appointment. You may recall from a past Treat that I made an agreement with myself to pay my hair stylist $1 for every minute I am late, so that I stay on time. I noticed my stylist was reading a magazine when I arrived, which was quite unusual. She looked up and said, I knew you thought your appointment was 9:30 when you didn't show up at 9:00. Ouch. It was as if I had been stung. I pulled out my Palm Pilot and, sure enough, the appointment was for 9:00. I had made it up that my appointment was 9:30. When I left, I added $30 to the check. I had to convince her to accept the additional money as the payment was not for her, but for me and my agreement with myself.
As if that wasn't enough, two days later I missed a Weekly Review phone call with a client. Big oops for the woman who teaches people to be impeccable with their agreements. My client was of course most gracious, but I felt the embarrassment, which we turned into laughter. And, to balance the action, I gave him a free future session.
How did this happen twice in one week, you ask? I simply didn't look at my calendar in the morning, which has become as automatic as brushing my teeth. Apparently though, it was not automatic for these two days.
I learned I really have reached the place of no longer tracking my agreements in my head. That also requires that I look at my calendar every day before I begin to see what I am doing that day. Viewing my agreements the day before, or a few days before, doesn't work.
As most of you know, I am not a big alarm/reminder person, but in this case it would have assisted me. I was a bit cavalier thinking that my empty mind would actually have space for keeping these things at the forefront. Silly me.
I know some people like to see their whole week at-a-glance so they can see what is coming up. But, in my experience, it clouds the clarity of this moment, this day, now. I saw the client appointment earlier in the week but, since I no longer ask my mind to carry any information, it wasn't my mind's job to remind me. It was my job to look.
The fun outcome from this experience was that my client loved the story about the hair appointment so much he is going to start paying his wife for every minute he is late coming home from the office. He said she will love it. And he thinks it will work, because he said he’s too cheap to pay money for being late. We'll see. Since I made the agreement with my hair stylist, I actually have only been late once in two years. It works when I make it important enough to be on time.
I think we all believe we can get away with not keeping our agreements because many people say things like: it’s "no biggie" or, it's fine you're late. It actually is rarely fine, but that's a frequent response. Over time we pay a big price for agreements not kept, the biggest one being the loss of trust with ourselves and with others. Now that's a biggie!
Martha Invitations
1. Take a look at any area in your life in which you are consistently breaking your agreement, and ask yourself what it would take for you to switch that behavior.
2. The next time you are late for an appointment, balance the action with something of value.
3. Before you agree to do something, ask yourself if it is on purpose for you to agree.
|
|
